Last year (when we used to be able to go out on impromptu visits to the high street) I was out making some last-minute purchases before flying out to Algarve to deliver life coaching to single young women on a retreat.
It was lovely to bump into someone who I had met many years previously on one of my first self-employed contracts. I hadn’t seen her since I had finished that work and that was over 12 years ago.
After opening the conversation with “How lovely to see you! How are you?” her next question was “Have you found yourself a man yet?” Totally taken aback, her question caught me off guard and I quickly retorted that I wasn’t aware I had lost one!
I often think that questions say more about the person asking them than the person being expected to answer it. When I knew this person, I had just ended a relationship so maybe she was simply taking up where we had left off but it did make me stop and wonder when it comes to relationships is our happiness rating really measured by our status?
In my book Suddenly Single I refer to what was the most helpful about getting my heart broken and finding myself single… and that was finding out more about the relationship I have with myself. Not that I couldn’t do that while I was in a relationship but more that I discovered more about what I was capable of and I also had more time to invest in finding out what made me happy.
During my research for the book, I found some of the most fulfilled people to be those who were single, who had chosen to walk away from a relationship that no longer worked. It hadn’t been an easy choice or free from pain, it was more of a necessary choice.
Thankfully success is no longer defined by two people walking off into the sunset and living happily ever after. Some great love stories mean we embrace our single status and create a happy ever after as a “one” living a life guided by our values and honouring the free spirit within.
So if you are suddenly, recently or not so recently single and have someone enquiring about your situation that sounds a little judged take some words of wisdom from the book. you never have to explain to anyone why you are single. Single isn’t a status, it’s a word to describe a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without being dependent on others.