Are you searching for something to help you put the pieces of your life back together after a special relationship didn’t work out the way you hoped it would? Are you suddenly single again after your husband or partner left you for someone else? Perhaps you are telling everyone that you are just “fine” but secretly, you are frustrated, you feel stuck and you are struggling to let go and move on.
In my new book, Suddenly Single, I share my own personal experience as well as real stories from real women, who one day woke up to find themselves single again and found that their once familiar landscape, which they had shared with a special someone, had dramatically changed and they were now left to figure out how on earth to navigate through this new world where all the rules were different.
Suddenly Single is a straightforward guide to help you understand what is happening to you and your broken heart. It helps you to heal healthily and introduces you to some great strategies so you can create a new and exciting happy ever after of your own. In Suddenly Single you will discover that the most important relationship that you will ever have in life, is not the one you have with someone else but the one you have with yourself.
Today I would like to share some of my favourite relationships videos from TED. Some of these offer tips for improving your relationships such as saying thank you and listening well. Other’s offer fundamental explanations for our romantic behaviour as humans.
1. Remember to say thank you – Laura Trice
This talk from fellow coach, Laura Trice emphasises the importance of giving and receiving genuine thanks. She believes that household –by-household we can change the world, simply by offering praise to our loved ones. If you do anything today, watch this five minute video.
2. Five ways to listen better – Julian Treasure
How many of you have been accused of not listening? I bet quite a few of you. We are all guilty of zoning out or perhaps even ignoring the views of others if they do not align with our own. This talk from Julian Treasure teaches you small ways to improve your listening skills, benefitting your life and relationships. It takes less than ten minutes to watch and could be the change you need.
3. Why we love, why we cheat – Helen Fisher
Anthropologist Helen Fisher offers a scientific and evolutionary explanation of loving and cheating. I don’t want to give too much away – watch the talk, it’s great – but she has found that we have three separate brain systems. We have one for sex drive, one for romantic love and one for attachment. And this is because we were built to reproduce but as the world changes so too does our brain …
4. What you don’t know about marriage – Jenna McCarthy
Writer Jenna McCarthy’s ironic, sarcastic and witty talk debates what makes a happy marriage. Jenna suggests respect, excitement, monogamy, a broken internet connection, and being thinner than our partners. You should probably avoid an Oscar nomination for Best Actress too …
5. Rethinking infidelity … a talk for anyone who has ever loved – Esther Perel
“Now, there are three ways that I think infidelity hurts differently today. We have a romantic ideal in which we turn to one person to fulfill an endless list of needs: to be my greatest lover, my best friend, the best parent, my trusted confidant, my emotional companion, my intellectual equal. And I am it: I’m chosen, I’m unique, I’m indispensable, I’m irreplaceable, I’m the one. And infidelity tells me I’m not. It is the ultimate betrayal. Infidelity shatters the grand ambition of love. But if throughout history, infidelity has always been painful, today it is often traumatic, because it threatens our sense of self.”
6. The Talk – Julia Sweeney
This final video looks at the complexity of sex and relationships from a child’s point of view who starts to ask some awkward questions about frogs …